So, today is that other hallmark day named after a certain Saint Valentine, a Roman priest who got arrested, stoned and then had his head separated from his body for the crime of marrying (heaven forbid!) Christian couples.
Charming.
And what is it then that we should give our dear loved ones? One of these perhaps?
Next up on the event calender we have that annual four-day weekend where we will all gather to celebrate a botched execution by painting eggs and pretending they were hidden in our gardens by a chocolate bunny rabbit.
What? Were you expecting little hearts and roses and cuddly teddy bears?
Fuck, no!
We’ve got a gender-specific role to play and a bad reputation to maintain.