The bare necessities: Teddy vs. Bruno

Of hugely entertaining value to an English speaker living in Germany is the recent insistence by locals to spice up their vocabulary with modern English words and phrases — as if no equivalent or suitable German words were available.

While this linguistic invasion could in itself be discussed ad nauseam, it becomes particularly worrisome when one considers that it is not only the US-American pronunciation efforts but also the US spelling variations (color vs. colour) that seem to be accepted as the norm and indeed even deemed correct by those not in the know. Advertising agencies and the media are particularly guilty of this malpractice.

One wonders what flavour (not flavor) of English our children are being taught at school?

Things get all the more humorous when German words are directly substituted by their apparently more cool-sounding English counterparts whilst sentence structure and grammar remain intact.

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The test results are in…

While we’re on the subject of tests, I stumbled across a few others tonight while goofing around, doing nothing but having a mug of coffee to help me sleep while basking in the phosphorescent glow of two CRTs.

Truth be told, these kind of tests are easy enough to manipulate in order to achieve whatever results one wishes but, I’ll admit, I was as honest as I could be. The only indecisions present were those in picking which specific persona should answer each question.

Obsessive-compulsive? Superficial? Nerdy? Bah, humbug!

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Word Warrior

Spam aside, every so often you receive a totally unexpected and pleasantly surprising email.

No, it wasn’t that darn elusive lottery win; this one we had triggered ourselves.

Seems that exactly four years ago we got bored at the office, stumbled upon a website called tickle.com and decided to take one of their tests. The email politely reminded me that the “account” set up for that one test was due to expire and asked whether we wished to re-activate it. We selected “yes” and read out the results of that IQ test taken way back in 2003.

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Spam Warrior

Spam is a cancer that feasts on an otherwise healthy internet.

Everyone who has an email account has no doubt received some sort of unwanted email message — be it from someone you know or someone you don’t know, or someone you’ve never heard of and wouldn’t (and shouldn’t) want to know. It arrives in bursts and always finds new methods of infiltrating even the best of filters.

Even the “delete” button is wearing out.

Questionable investment schemes and brokerage deals have, as of recently, all but replaced the old UK lottery win notifications, the 419 scams, and the offers of a quickie with the friendly neighbourhood nymphomaniac wife of a long-haul truck driver as they weed their way through the tightest of filters by including the payload as an image file, accompanied by some unassuming text in the body of the message.

So one day we decided to start “collecting” all the spam emails sent to two of our primary email accounts.

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Why a blog?

Now that the crude design of this blog layout is complete, it’s time to populate it with a few snippets of information.

Yes, anecdotes after all.

While the main function of the original site was to collect and showcase the various jokes and virals one receives via email or stumbles across otherwise and indeed still do did form the main brunt of the content, this new layout allows us to categorise and compile the numerous personal projects and silly ideas we’ve had over the years.

And a blog lends itself beautifully to this purpose.

Hopefully a running commentary of life as seen and experienced by yours truly, it’ll be just one part of the puzzle that should form a greater picture over the next few years.

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Welcome to the blogosphere!

There… ’tis done!

The HMVH Corporation BBS Online is now a blog, as threatened and promised. Whereas the previous main page was nothing more than a menu pointing to another list of text- and increasingly graphic jokes and humour with the odd smitten of personal anecdotes thrown in for good measure, this new! improved! layout is still little more than a blog pointing to lists of text- and increasingly graphic jokes and humour, with more personal anecdotes thrown in for good measure, and all this goodness in a nice and pretty blogger.com WordPress format with a slightly modified template pilfered from a site I cannot care to remember whomever is  shown in the current footer.

“So what’s the point?” I hear you ask.
Nothing much. No point. Just a new format.

What it will, however, allow me to do is gather my thoughts, streamline my ideas, and organise my projects. As with all earth-shattering concepts, this remains a work in progress and the layout will, for the time being, remain as is, with changes and minor tinkering taking place as the mood or boredom strikes, or when some cool new widget and feature out there tickles my fancy. And, as with life in the biological and physical domain, nothing is certain but death and taxes. Certain is that someday we’ll get our own domain and server space. Certain is that it’ll include a blog of some sorts. Certain is that it’ll include and feature content that can be seen here. Certain is also that it’ll include links and pages of mine that are spread all over free-hosting land — past, present and certainly future. How exactly it’ll all be tied together remains uncertain.

Uncertain is also when this is all going to take place.

Watch this space for details.

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The beginning of a season called Summer

Although summer may not quite officially be upon us, winter never really happened either. Oh, it was cold a few times, and it even snowed… once or thrice, if memory serves — but that’s it. The winter tires were money well wasted, the car’s clocked up a good 167,000km (thanks to a recent trip to Austria) and has been given the TÜV seal of approval for another two years (thanks to a recent service).

In fact, it’s definitely time to revert back to the summer slicks, particularly since I’ve caught myself approaching the supposed 190km/h limit for the current rubber on more than just a few recent occasions.

And, just in time for this posting: one of the electric windows has packed up.

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hmvh.de.vu News

hmvh.de.vu_header

As the year 2006 draws to a close, so does the current layout and general structure of this site (not that anyone would notice or actually give a shit). The latest batch of jokes being sent out én masse are also the last (text) jokes having been sent out. The stoic, structured, numbered, and dated (ambiguity intended) layout will be replaced by the more fluid structure of a blog that suits my personal taste, current style, and future projects.

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