(Re)discovering MiniDisc

About two weeks ago I got myself a MiniDisc player/recorder.

Other than browsing through some pop/rock MD albums at Heathrow Airport several years ago (back when they were still considered a “current” media format) I had never had first-hand experience with the actual hardware, so I couldn’t skip the opportunity when a colleague was selling all his gear via the company bulletin board.

40 bucks later I was the proud owner of a Denon DMD-1300 recorder, and a few discs thrown in for good measure.

This particular unit was released/manufactured in 1997, at a time when CDs had firmly established themselves as the de-facto standard for pre-recorded music and consumers were getting tired of the old analogue cassette.

Then, of course, there’s the “tape” factor. Tapes (or rather, the cartridges) contain moving parts and succumb to mechanical stresses. Tape can jam and get mangled, and tapes lack the benefit of “random access”, a reputation even its successors were unable to shake off. Outside of professional use, even DAT had never really found favour with the public at large, and the DCC, however clever and promising a transitional format, was stillborn — all on account of unfortunate timing and due to the fact that consumers themselves are reluctant to commit to a format that has no track record. This was again proven by the recent HD-DVD vs. Blu-Ray hold-out, confirming that most people would not have chosen the red pill.

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The story of Moshzilla

Over the last few days, yours truly has been wading through the murky waters of his hard drives, filtering out some debris in the form of unused downloads and old, forgotten, cobwebbed files. It was then that I stumbled over the extended left leg of a dancing girl named “Sam” — or “Little Sam” as she is known to friends and family (according to her defunct myspace.com/littlesamxxx profile).

Everyone else on the interwebs knows her as “Moshzilla”.

Therefore, at the risk of flogging a horse that’s been dead for well over three years and continuing my previous discussion about internet culture and memes in general, allow me to regurgitate the sordid tale of the unfortunate soul sometimes also dubbed “Skankzilla”.

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Nothing important happened today…

…not counting the fact that I’ve converted a batch of tapes originally recorded in 1983.

Some play properly no more.

Some need a little more persuasion than just adhesive tape and a screwdriver and the promise of a digital hereafter. Some are really messed up. Some are truly and genuinely screwed up. No matter how carefully and obsessively you (thought you) looked after those tapes by storing them in a cool, dark, dry place, far away from anything that could possibly generate a magnetic field, some of the mechanics and materials have started to fail. That’s because the earlier ones were cheap, rubbish no-brand tapes. That’s because they’re from 1983 and before.

And that’s 25 years ago… a quarter of a century, people!

Fuck, I am getting ancient.

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Motivation

I ain’t got none.

I’m tired. Uninspired.

Put up a poster and hope it provides some oomphff. Yeah, right! Not here. Fuckit.

Motifake

It’s the routine of caffeine and nicotine that make the monotony of each day bearable as we look forward to the monthly paycheck and the great gig in the sky after the final dinner with the worms.

Booze, porn and video games help, too, while for the happy-clappy and bright-eyed airheads amongst us someone’s gone and made a million-dollar business out of “Motivational Posters” because…

“in our world of instant gratification, people desperately want to believe that there are simple solutions to complex problems. And when desperation has disposable income, market opportunities abound.”

And greed. Greed’s a great motivator. Greed is good. Greed makes hungry. Jealousy also works well, as does a dose of plagiarism — like those nice ‘n cynical entrepreneurs at despair.com have done. Your misery = my profit. Add pinch of salt to taste.

Needless to say, these delightfully disparaging “demotivational posters” have since mutated into their very own viral artform, variations of which have already wormed their way into all corners of the interwebs as one of the current memes, all the more curious when mated with LOLcats. And since we’ve been discussing internet culture and, for reasons beyond us, this blog is infested with felines, how about this four-eared specimen? It’s just a matter of time before Yoda is also given the LOLcats treatment.

Mind you, it’s not all doom and gloom: Today’s sift through the spam folder included the following gem, purportedly sent by “Top News Agency” with the headline “Aliens Are Gay Says Astronaut”.

The rest of the article goes on to say that…

Former Astronaut Dr. Edgar Mitchell – a veteran of the Apollo 14 mission – claims aliens are gay and that they are responsible for many of the earth’s ills including global warming, war, disease and The View.

…while from “kakoli Worcester” came the sensational message that “Paris Hilton’s vagina bites mailman!

Perhaps not quite motivational but awe-inspiring shit nonetheless!

Image credits: Unknown

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X Files + Tapes = August, part 2

In other exciting news, I finally completed watching the entire X Files series via this box set, which I bought as far back as Christmas 2005!

X Files Box Set

As is to be expected in the entertainment industry (note the “industry” part), this once-canonical box set has since been superseded by another; not just in a snazzier cardboard box but one that also includes the X Files movie, which chronologically falls inbetween seasons 5 and 6 of the total of nine seasons. Of course, the new set wouldn’t include the recent big-screen movie (which I have yet to see), so here’s predicting that we’ll be seeing another, even more definitive box set someday soon — until the next movie, that is.

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Rufus + Google + Monsters = August, part 1

A few months ago, my South African DJ friend Rufus Blairgowrie tracked me down again.

Rufus is a very strange individual, full of energy and zest, horny as hell, and can be quite the boor. He usually says what he thinks and takes no prisoners when doing so. And he recently got himself broadband access… which could spell the end of the internet.

Hide your women and daughters!

If nothing else, Rufus is a capable DJ and has his rare moments of sheer brilliance. The most recent one was when he suggested that I revamp and rename the old email dumping grounds — which apparently had quite a following at his previous place of employment. Who’d have thunk?

Thusly, The Dirty Thumb was borne out of the old HMVHumourList_bin Google Group.

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I can has cheezburger?

The internet is a wild frontier.

It has its founders, its architects, its leaders, and its supporters and critics. The internet is filled with predators and prey alike, hoaxers and debunkers, and it boasts heroes and jesters and unwitting celebrities — not unlike the physical realm.

And because of the very nature of the internet, the line between heroes and jesters is often so blurred that one is given to wonder if they’re not one and the same thing in this beta version of the final frontier.

Rewind back to 9/11 after which a certain photo of a tourist supposedly taken on top of one of the WTC towers moments before the first plane’s impact surfaced in everyone’s in-boxes. I also received the pic, forwarded by an otherwise astute and intelligent friend who fell for the hoax, hook, line and sinker — and for quite some time thereafter, the WTC-guy turned up as an accidental witness to numerous historic disasters. It’s an incident where a jester became an unlikely “hero”, finally falling from grace as his own efforts were photoshopped by other jesters and appeared all over the web.

Everyone stands the chance of becoming the next global village idiot.

Fame and success in the internet world can be measured by the number of imitations and parodies and fan sites and pop culture cross-references a simple picture, phrase, act, video (or a combination thereof) spawns — especially when these escape into the real world or traditional media. Surely, if people “get” the joke and run with it, then it must be really funny or entertaining or relevant or… “priceless”. Right?

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